Focusing on people's FORTE

Swordsmanship refers to prowess in using a sword. It conjures up images of Medieval battlefields in which a gifted swordsman is putting down one opponent after another, or in sport, images of 2 men or women fencing. There are many types of swords that soldiers and athletes use, including the Gladius, the Sabre, and the Foil. But all swords are made up of 3 major parts: The Hilt, which is the handle, usually including a hand-guard; the Forte, which is the first half of the blade, and strongest part of the sword; and the Foible, which is the second half of the blade containing the sharp tip, and weakest part of the sword. We’ve all seen swordsmen parry, their blades meeting where the Forte ends and the Foible starts, when the fencing descends into a pushing match. And we’ve all seen a swordsman strike his opponent’s sword so hard in the Foible area, that it breaks one of the sword tips right off.

The Strength of the Forte, and the weakness of the Foible have become metaphors for people’s strengths and weaknesses. Thus we speak of someone’s forte, when they are obviously gifted in some area, while we speak of their foibles, when they chronically fall short in some way.

So do you tend to focus on a person’s forte or their foibles? Ironically, we all want others to focus on our forte, while we ourselves tend to focus on other’s foibles! But the happiest and healthiest relationships focus on one another’s forte.

The Bible is full of examples of people focusing on other’s foibles: “And when she (Hagar) saw that she conceived, her mistress (Sarah) became despised in her eyes.” (GENESIS 16:4,5) Hagar, who was one of Sarah’s hand-maids, gloated over her own forte in being able to bear children - while making a public spectacle of Sarah’s weakness (foible), in not being able to conceive. This was especially cruel in a culture where women were evaluated by how prolific they were in producing children.

When dating, a man & a woman tend to do just the opposite, focusing on one another’s forte (good looks, pleasing personality & abilities), while ignoring one another’s foibles. In the most successful marriages, the couple continues this approach, overlooking one another’s foibles and focusing on one another’s forte. But many couples unfortunately begin to lose focus on their mate’s forte that they were so enraptured with, and begin to focus on their mates’ weaknesses instead.

This happened with King David: “Then David danced before the Lord with all his might; And David was wearing a linen ephod (a priest’s garment). So David and all the House of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet. Now as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal (David’s wife), Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart.” (II SAMUEL 6:14-16) Michal had forgot about all the king’s accomplishments and strengths (forte) and disdained her husband because she thought he was acting undignified by shedding his royal garments and dancing in the streets in priestly garments.

The Apostle Paul was inspired to write: “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world (average folks like us) to put to shame the wise. God has chosen the weak things of the world (the foible part of the sword of Humanity) to put to shame the things which are mighty (those with lots of forte, good looks & ability); and the base things of the world (the foible laden of Mankind) and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not (full of forte) to bring to nothing the things that are, THAT NO FLESH SHOULD GLORY in His presence.” (I CORINTHIANS 1:26—29)

Christ Himself was considered by the ‘forte’ of His day (the Sanhedrin), as part of the ‘foible filled’ members of Jewish Society: “For He shall grow up before HIM as a tender plant and as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness (the forte of ‘good looks’); and when see Him there is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected of men…” (ISAIAH 53:2,3)

So how about you? Do you tend to focus on other’s forte or foibles? In His message to one of the 7 churches in Asia (the Ephesian church), Christ showed us the way - focusing on the congregation’s forte: “I know your works, your labor, your patience and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are Apostles and are not and have found them liars. And you have persevered and have patience and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love…” (REVELATION 2:2-4) After listing 9 strengths of the congregation at Ephesus, Jesus mentions only one foible for them to work on. Oh that Christians had a 9-1 ratio in focusing on people’s forte over their foibles!

Ezra wrote: “You, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserve…” (EZRA 9:13) Shouldn’t we punish our brothers and sisters in Christ less than their iniquities deserve?

The Apostle Peter was inspired to write: “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (II PETER 3:18) Many Christians have grown in the knowledge of Christ, but haven’t grown to the point they show grace to others the way Christ did in His earthly days: “Woman (caught in Adultery), where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, ‘No one Lord.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” (JOHN 8:10,11)

The word of God is compared to a 2 edged sword in the book of Hebrews. So when you pick up your Bible - let it remind you to use the strong side of that Biblical sword in conversation with others - and focus on their forte!